so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
