Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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