One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
