I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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