just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
