it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
