You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
