I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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