Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
