Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
