is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
