I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
