it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she pinky promised me she was 18
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
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