This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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