I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
