theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
