STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
