That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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