If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
as a side note pls kill me
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
