it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.