The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
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They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
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you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.