Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
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So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess