Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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