She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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