She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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