she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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