And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
