i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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