so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize