She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
