im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
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