just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
