1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
