i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Four minutes until I can fart!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize