speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
