guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
