Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
