SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
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How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
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As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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