Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
