I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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