She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
