The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
