The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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