I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize