It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
