Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize