Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory

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(678): After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory http://tfl.nu/nm21

Replies (23) Good night (793) Bad night (5245)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.

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(814): Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade. http://tfl.nu/7055

Replies (49) Good night (1579) Bad night (7736)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that

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(860): And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that http://tfl.nu/ubil

Replies (37) Good night (2497) Bad night (6692)
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(757): View more from Virginia

you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'

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(757): you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse' http://tfl.nu/umk4

Replies (18) Good night (10331) Bad night (1186)
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(+61): View more from Australia

We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.

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(+61): We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well. http://tfl.nu/yavz

Replies (21) Good night (2011) Bad night (2724)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.

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(732): This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together. http://tfl.nu/028o

Replies (4) Good night (1226) Bad night (3939)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.

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(740): Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward. http://tfl.nu/xwna

Replies (3) Good night (945) Bad night (1832)
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(516): View more from New York

why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?

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(516): why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka? http://tfl.nu/od3j

Replies (12) Good night (1289) Bad night (823)
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(512): View more from Texas

I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.

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(512): I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas. http://tfl.nu/ufwf

Replies (29) Good night (4150) Bad night (763)
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(585): View more from New York

remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that

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(585): remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that http://tfl.nu/fcdo

Replies (8) Good night (561) Bad night (1119)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.

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(202): I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas. http://tfl.nu/fady

Replies (0) Good night (1162) Bad night (522)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.

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(317): Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed. http://tfl.nu/ma7i

Replies (6) Good night (814) Bad night (439)
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(916): View more from California

You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.

(1-916): View more from California

No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.

(916): View more from California

YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN

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(916): You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier. (1-916): No, it's okay because this is the city of trees. (916): YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN http://tfl.nu/hcly

Replies (8) Good night (787) Bad night (473)
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(210): View more from Texas

It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.

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(210): It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked. http://tfl.nu/smzj

Replies (3) Good night (654) Bad night (422)
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(805): View more from California

I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.

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(805): I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you. http://tfl.nu/8wct

Replies (1) Good night (518) Bad night (323)

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