Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon

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  (708): we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon http://tfl.nu/1ry8
  Replies (11) Good night (4226) Bad night (577)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i just identified you from a description of your pipe

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  (248): i just identified you from a description of your pipe http://tfl.nu/awfe
  Replies (13) Good night (5107) Bad night (684)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right

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  (540): Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right http://tfl.nu/yhhf
  Replies (38) Good night (4948) Bad night (983)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.

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  (586): just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me. http://tfl.nu/oae8
  Replies (26) Good night (8723) Bad night (737)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.

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  (843): when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home. http://tfl.nu/096s
  Replies (33) Good night (12267) Bad night (1343)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?

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  (850): We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out? http://tfl.nu/dwkr
  Replies (8) Good night (3301) Bad night (753)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.

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  (732): please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me. http://tfl.nu/r1h1
  Replies (2) Good night (2703) Bad night (661)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms

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  (412): I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms http://tfl.nu/sbef
  Replies (18) Good night (3765) Bad night (1107)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night

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  (862): You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night http://tfl.nu/zmqw
  Replies (3) Good night (1707) Bad night (505)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future

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  (+44): Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future http://tfl.nu/1p5t
  Replies (9) Good night (2460) Bad night (461)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??

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  (954): My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted?? http://tfl.nu/5rk7
  Replies (7) Good night (1821) Bad night (418)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.

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  (804): I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin. http://tfl.nu/8mge
  Replies (4) Good night (1217) Bad night (395)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.

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  (973): We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend. http://tfl.nu/o8s0
  Replies (3) Good night (872) Bad night (436)
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  (716): View more from New York

  After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"

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  (716): After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous" http://tfl.nu/zxh1
  Replies (7) Good night (519) Bad night (272)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm

  (1+61): View more from

  At least it wasn't your drinking arm

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  (+61): In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm (1+61): At least it wasn't your drinking arm http://tfl.nu/wwzo
  Replies (2) Good night (559) Bad night (197)

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