Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone