They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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