Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
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I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
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At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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