I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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