Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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