i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
