A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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