hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
