I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
