piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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