dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
NoShamevember. You game?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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