we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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